Are You Asking Enough Questions?

Honestly, if you’re not into adventuring you can spend hours in Breath of the Wild chopping wood, finding ingredients, and cooking food. No risky dungeons or shrines required!

I have been passing quite a bit of time during the pandemic playing “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild” on Nintendo Switch. I’ve enjoyed exploring the large, detailed, and fantastical map and experiencing the story as it plays out in an engaging, non-linear fashion. It’s this last part that leaves me most in awe. The graphics on the Switch are not breathtaking by any stretch; yes, they’re in HD, but they are not groundbreaking visualizations that push the boundaries of realism so it isn’t the graphics that get me excited. Also, the controls can be somewhat cumbersome so it’s not the fluidity of play that keeps me excited. Instead, it’s the way that the game doles out bits of the story and lore of Hyrule (the land the game takes place in) in a way that doesn’t require you to have experienced everything else to put it in true context. I have incredible respect for the game’s creators who have found a way to tell a story regardless of what order you experience it in.

The story unfolding like this has created some interesting questions from my kids, who sometimes watch me play. Actually, now that I think about it - it’s more accurate to say that they help me play; my son in particular is fantastic at noticing details on the screen or mismatches in my armor versus the surrounding environment much before I would. Often when we’re together playing, they will  ask questions about who some character is or what Zelda (the princess) is doing. I almost always have no idea what the answer could be because we haven’t discovered that part of the story yet. And that’s why if you come into my living room when I’m playing, you’ll hear me just repeating “I don’t know, guys. I haven’t found that out yet,” or maybe “That’s a good idea, maybe that’s what’s going on.” I try to be transparent in that I am experiencing game with them and have limited knowledge beyond what they do. And yet, they ask questions. A lot of questions.

Almost every parent I know laments the number of questions their kids ask at some point or another. In fact, it’s such a common thing that the trope of younger kids asking “why” in an infinite loop has become less of a joke and more of an acknowledgment of how conversations go for a while in your house. Our kids ask a lot of questions, but the nature of them has changed as they’ve grown. We try really hard to answer as many of them as they lob at us and be transparent when we don’t have the information they’re seeking. Most importantly, I try not to discourage them from asking questions, as I feel like asking good questions is an important life skill that I want them to develop. Generally, I’ve found that people who ask good questions more often than they make statements are on average more successful than those who do not.

I think this is especially true in IT where I’ve seen first-hand that at virtually every level the technology professional who asks more questions is far more likely to get ahead. In fact, I think this is so true that I’ve started to think of it in terms of a question-to-statement ratio. To figure out your ratio, just think what percentage of the time you’re speaking is asking a question or helping people reach an answer versus the amount of time that you are answering them. In general, the higher your percentage of statements are instead of questions, the less likely you are getting closer to solving real problems for your organization – and of course that’s what we’re all paid to do. I’m so convinced of this that I’ll take you through three different job roles and show you how asking a larger quantity of more thoughtful questions can be a game changer for you.

It can feel risky to ask questions, but I guarantee you that it’s riskier to hang out wherever this picture was taken.
It looks like an alleyway the Riddler hangs out in.

Let’s start with someone new to IT and likely their organization; maybe it’s their first or second job out of school and they’re trying to solidify their role or position in the company as a cloud administrator. If they find themselves in a meeting with colleagues going over a planned code rollout or upgrade, they may be tempted to get some air time in the room by mentioning something they saw in a blog post or bringing up a concern. And yeah - that may get them some visibility, but I firmly believe that if instead they instead use that information to ask a question, it may give them even more credibility because it offers the opportunity to show that they’re taking outside knowledge and probing how it can improve internal processes. For instance, instead of saying “I saw a blog post that said we should increase our emphasis on QA,” they could say “I was reading a blog post about software QA – do you all think we’re putting enough emphasis on this?”

The difference is subtle, but in one they’re offering an opinion and in the second they’re encouraging their team to discuss it to elicit an opinion from the group as a whole. This not only shows that they’re keeping abreast of the latest trends, but that they’re striving to get feedback from the group as a whole and build consensus. The takeaway that many in the room will have is that “the new person” really brought up some interesting points in a non-threatening way and provided room for the group to discuss it. This is virtually always more effective than just saying what you think should be done.

Let’s also consider a manager who is having a one-on-one meeting with someone on their staff. Something that I am continually working on is to help people grow by coaching them with questions instead of simply giving them more direct feedback. There’s a time and a place for direct feedback, but I think that the most effective way to get someone to realize something or change behaviors is to ask them a series of open-ended questions that ultimately get them to realize on their own what you were planning on telling them. Sure, you could come out and say that something was done sloppily - or you could say that you wanted to work on attention to detail or ask “Is this your most polished finished product?” If they say no, you can ask “What would a fully polished version look like? What would be different?” Ultimately, you can walk them there and never come out and said they did bad work.

The beauty of this method is that you’re teaching the person to catch their own proverbial fish instead of giving them a free trout. I’ve found that if someone comes to a conclusion on their own, they have a higher retention and accountability to it than if someone just tells them what the conclusion is. I’ve seen this in my staff, in my kids, and certainly in myself. Also, having worked for a manager who did this, I can say that I look back with appreciation for everything they taught me; for the most part they let me learn the lesson myself, they just coached me to it with questions.

Finally, let’s look at a senior architect who has been called in to consult on a virtual desktop project. In this case, they are a (likely certified) expert in the subject matter and could certainly pontificate at length about the best way to solve a particular problem, run the project, or configure connection servers. In contrast, the very best architects I’ve ever worked with ask an absolute ton of questions. They are trying to make sure they understand everything they can about how the solution will be used to make sure they propose and/or build something that is going to be truly valuable and appreciated by the customer.

“Well, we measured your wrist circumference, so we should be all set.”
”Including the pants?”
”Yep. We good. That’ll be $799. Visa or Mastercard?”

I think of questions from an architect like measurements from a tailor. I don’t want a suit made by a tailor who measures my waist and then says they’re all set; I want a suit made by a tailor that takes tons of measurements and notices things like one shoulder is lower than the other so they can make a suit that fits perfectly. Conversely, some of the worst architects I’ve worked with have tried to force their cookie-cutter designs on me as a customer without making sure they will fit our needs. Let’s face it: an architect that doesn’t ask the right questions rarely builds the right thing.

Ultimately, I am trying to convince you that you should make sure that you are asking a lot of questions instead of throwing a lot of opinions out in meetings and with your colleagues. It’s part of the reason that I end each post with some questions for reflection; I want you to think through what I’ve written about and ponder what you should do about it.

Finally, I’ve noticed over the years that tech professionals can often be maligned for having strong opinions. I know multiple IT pros that make so many strong statements that they are known for being arrogant, unlikable people. These folks may be very technically competent, but almost no one wants to be in a room with them so they are almost never going to become terribly influential in their organizations. I’ve been in IT long enough to know that there is a plurality of tech pros who are constantly trying to be the “big nerd in the room” and up the bravado and emphasis of their own opinions to overcome some sort of insecurity. If you feel this tendency in yourself, try to walk it back by asking questions instead of dropping hot takes everywhere. It may save your reputation, and get your team to reach consensus faster.

Ultimately the question is to you – are you going to try it out, or not?

Questions for reflection:

• What is your question-to-statement ratio? Are you trying to encourage conversation with questions, or are you dropping your opinion more often than not?

• Do you know anyone who asks a lot of questions? What is their reputation in the office?

• Have you ever had a manager who has coached you with a series of questions that help you realize something without being given the answer? Did it stick?