This post starts out kinda rough, so here are some puppies to inoculate you against it. Aren’t they cute?
I learned this past week that I and my entire team (as well as the rest of the staff and administration at the university I work for) have been furloughed for a short period of time. Now, I am well aware that being furloughed for a week is far less impactful than what many people (some of whom are likely readers of this post) have or will go through. I am fully aware that there are 22 million Americans without work today than there were a month ago. Still, please understand that I have spent my career in public higher education. Employees at institutions like mine willingly forgo higher compensation for more stability. That is to say that folks in our IT department could likely make far more in the private sector than they do, but accept that because they want the stability and work-life balance that such a career provides. As a result, my team and countless others were quite upset by this.
I mention this because not only was I informed of my furlough, but I had to deliver that news to others on my team. While many had expected some sort of personal financial impact due to the Covid-19 crisis, especially given the outsized impact this has had on higher education, it was still tough for them to see the impacts in front of them in black and white. The hardest part for me was hearing a few folks talk about how this is going to impact them personally and possibly make it hard for them to meet financial commitments.
Occasionally, as a manager, it is your responsibility to deliver bad news that you didn’t personally decide on. I have found that passing on bad news like this is harder than delivering bad news that was your decision. When it’s your decision you have the opportunity to invite commentary and explain reasons. Often, when it is not your decision, you have to just point at or restate someone else’s (often your senior leadership’s) reasons. To be perfectly candid here, I have a ton of confidence in my institution’s senior leadership – and their communication and rationale has been exemplary during this crisis. Irrespective of that, the point remains that simply passing something on is tough.
I’d like to take the rest of this post to talk about some tips on how to pass on bad news to someone. While these tips are absolutely viable for a manager to employee relationship, they are equally as viable anytime you are in a position to provide service, knowledge, or deliverables to someone else. At some point, almost everyone is in a position to provide bad news or deliver a message that will be met with disappointment or other negative emotions, so it’s best to think through how you can do it better when the time comes.
You: Wow, Steve went full emo on this post. Intense
Me: Stock photography is rough, I’ll just use whatever pops up first.
Prepare ahead of time. This can take many forms, but I’ve found that going through a script in your head or putting some notes down on a piece of paper in front of you can help reduce your nerves. One time I had to go into my boss’ office and let them know that every domain controller was offline, that we didn’t entirely know why, and that those DCs also housed DNS - so pretty much everything was dead and would be until we started to get something back online. I took 30 seconds to get some facts on a piece of paper so I could refer to them before I went in. I felt more prepared and that calmed me down some. Both of those things together made me look more prepared. If you have more time on your hands, you may want to role play with a colleague who understands the situation and – importantly – isn’t considered a violation of confidentiality.
Be direct and get to the point. Especially recently, folks are expecting bad news almost every day. It’s hard to blindside someone with the impacts of Covid-19 unless they’ve been under a rock. While it can be comforting for you to start with small talk, it only ramps up tensions for the other party. I have found that the best way to start these conversations is “Thanks for (coming in/calling/making yourself available.) It’s my responsibility to inform you that (bad news.)” It may seem cold, but asking how someone is doing right before you ensure they are not doing well isn’t a great system. Get to the point gently, but get there.
Be empathetic. This clearly comes easier to some people than others, but if you’re delivering bad news, please don’t be cheery about it. I don’t want someone who is really bubbly telling me that my job is gone, or that someone had lost all of my data and it cannot be recovered. Try to see the news from someone else’s perspective and think about delivering it to them the way that you think they would prefer- which may differ from how you would like it presented.
Be honest. If someone’s performance is responsible for what’s happening, then be honest about that. The worst thing you can do for someone is to give them the old “it’s not you, it’s me” speech when it is in fact very much them. Likewise, if you screwed up and deleted important data – be honest about it and own it. I can say with 100% certainty that if you try to make yourself seem better or less responsible, you will look like a coward – and it will be obvious. Likewise, if you don’t have any control over the situation, be honest that you are not in the driver’s seat. This is a bad time to try to make yourself look more important.
Don’t give advice. I genuinely care about everyone on my team. I want them to excel – not just because it makes me look good – but because I want all of them to be successful for their own benefit. Sometimes, when someone is getting negatively impacted, I have a tendency to want to give them advice about what I would do if I were them or what their next steps should be. Don’t do this. The odds that they care what you think are slim to nil, you come off looking like a know-it-all, and whomever you’re talking to can certainly react emotionally to unsolicited advice.
Leave enough time to do it properly. Sometimes people need a bit of time to process news they don’t want to hear, even if you think it’s minor. The worst thing you can do is watch the clock and rush people out of the conversation. The world is incredibly diverse and people care about things more or less depending on their perspective, so you may be surprised when someone needs more time to process. Give it to them. This goes back to being empathetic. Also, make sure whomever you are talking to has an opportunity to provide feedback, get upset, or whatever it is they need to do. There’s no reason to drop a bombshell and show someone the door right away unless it’s a safety issue.
Occasionally we all need to deliver bad news. A project failed, a system is offline, an employee is losing their job, the company had a bad quarter, a revenue target was missed. If you never have to deliver bad news, you don’t have a career – you have a fairytale. The point is: if this is a normal part of a career – and I insist that it is – you may want to consider doing it as well as possible. I can’t guarantee it’ll always be smooth. In fact, I can guarantee it won’t always be smooth, but I can say for certain that if you follow the tips above - it will be better for both of you than if you do not.
Uh, greetings from the flight deck. Folks, I have some bad news. I know we were headed or Miami, but, well..
And from the bottom of my heart, I hope you don’t have to use these tips often – it’s a lot more fun to tell people that you’re done early, under budget, or they’re getting a promotion. Hopefully, we get back to that soon.
On to you:
When is the last time you had to deliver bad news? Is there something not listed here that has helped you deliver it? What was it? Was it effective?
Who is someone you can role play this with to get some practice at it before you do it “for real?”
When thinking through the last time you delivered bad news, what could you have done better?