Note: This is the third week in the STRIPES series. For more information about what STRIPES is, and why I’m spending weeks on an elementary school philosophy, check out my post from July 15, 2020.
I needed a graphic to represent the post, but seriously - what even is this? The text isn’t in the same plane as the screen, they’re cockeyed, and almost no words are readable. This is a terrible, terrible graphic. You deserve better, reader.
This week I want to talk about respect – which is the R in STRIPES - because I have often seen some undercurrents in IT that lead me to believe that having respect for others that we work with isn’t exactly a universal trait for those in IT careers. If you don’t believe me – look no further than the old SNL skit, “Nick Burns – Your Company’s Computer Guy,” where Jimmy Fallon’s biting portrayal of an IT technician is a little too on point to be comfortable.
If that’s not enough watch a few episodes of “The IT Crowd,” which is an excellent show – but certainly shows some “quirks” of IT folks. If almost every pop culture reference to IT includes the unspoken understanding that people in IT are condescending, socially inept jerks you have to pause for a bit and wonder where it comes from, don’t you? I know I do. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see condescending threads pop up here and there. Accordingly, I’d like to talk about three places where you may be tempted to relax the respect you have for others that could hurt your career.
I still think these are funny. But also, deep in your heart - you know this person. They work in your department. And every time they act like this, we all look worse.
First - and possibly the easiest to think through - is respect for the end users in your company. Look, I get it. I’ve been in IT for almost 25 years, and I’ve certainly dealt with my fair share of end users that were either clueless or thought they knew better than I did or were overtly hostile to me without any real reason. When that happens, it’s certainly tempting to try to put them in their place, isn’t it? I mean, you’re the expert and you certainly know what you’re talking about – so why not wow them with how powerful your wizardry is and maybe throw a little shade while you’re at it, right?
The problem here is that every time you do that, you’ve eroded the trust and respect you have for each other a little more. And the thing is, this will rapidly devolve into some awful resentment towards you within your organization because you’ll be known as the person who needs to belittle others. That perception will rub off on others in your team, and soon enough you’ve degraded the perception of your entire team. Of course, teams with that reputation don’t get the opportunities to shine like other groups. Good job – you really showed that user!
And let’s not forget that whatever contempt you’re holding for your end user is somehow predicated on the idea that they should be as proficient with technology as you are – even though you’re paid because of your expertise with the technology and they are presumably not. They are, however, likely experts in their own field and hopefully when you’re talking to the procurement folks they aren’t belittling you for not knowing exactly how to get a PO through the system to buy more USB keys. (Seriously – can you ever have enough of these things?)
Finally, always keep in mind that ultimately you serve end users – your whole purpose is to make sure that they are able to fulfill their role smoothly so they can serve the business. Unless you’re actively selling a product or service that contributes to the company’s bottom line – your role is to make sure the people that serve the business’ customers are operating at peak efficiency. So, instead of belittling them, maybe respect what they do for your company. Now that I’ve worked in higher education for a lot of years, I’ve met some absolutely brilliant professors who have contributed to the world’s understanding in their field that print emails and read them on paper. But you know what? I can’t advance the world’s understanding of polymers, so I’ll help them print their emails.
Another area where you may be struggling with respect is with your boss. Let me guess – they make your life horrible sometimes, and despite levying your best arguments and logic they sometimes decide to go in a direction that you don’t support. I know that feeling – and even worse, I’ve sometimes created that feeling in folks that work on my team. I do my best to explain why I am deciding to go a certain way instead of whatever is being lobbied for, but sometimes I can’t explain for a variety of reasons. Ultimately, your manager should have a broader view of the organization and a more direct link to the organization’s goals than you do by nature of their higher vantage point on the org chart. Instead of arguing and getting frustrated, you’d probably do better to see if you can understand their position instead of advocating for your own.
And let’s not forget that the vast majority of managers that I have known have worked their way up into the role that they are in - and therefore should have earned the respect of those on their team. Simply put, I’m saying that there is wisdom in realizing that the boss is the boss. You will have a better career (and probably more fun at work) if you demonstrate respect for their leadership and discretion and work to make their decisions successful instead of fighting for your own constantly.
I want to be clear that I’m not saying that you should just blindly follow your manager regardless of what they say – people can (and do) make bad decisions, and you definitely need to feel empowered to educate your management about why a decision may be improper or unwise. Instead, I’m saying that calling them a pointy-haired boss and complaining about them incessantly is probably not the best career move and isn’t exactly going to paint you in a positive light. Also, please keep in mind that even if you’re complaining about them “behind their back,” they know. Trust me on this.
Seriously, my father spent a lot of time in a VA facility before they passed. These things are great at getting medicines around - they even dispense them to the patient!
The last area that I want to talk about respect is one where it probably matters most day-to-day – and that’s having respect for all of your coworkers as people and not just units of labor that do a task from 9 to 5 every day of the week. Everyone you work with is a person with family, friends, and hobbies. (That is, unless you work in a VA hospital – they have those little robots that carry stuff around. You can talk smack about them if you want – but you probably don’t want to because they’re so cool.)
It’s easy to be frustrated with colleagues in the office. I can’t tell you how many times someone from InfoSec has come along and frustrated me over a project, or how often I’ve been three whiteboards in explaining something when an argument breaks out about whether we can cross virtual routers in the environment or something. These frustrations are a normal part of working with other people – and trust me when I say that working with other people is the essential skill set. What you do when you run into these frustrations is essential. Do you listen to what they have to say, or just dig your heels in and argue with them? Are you respecting that your colleagues in areas of IT that you don’t work in probably have a better understanding of their area than you do?
I believe that everyone hired into an organization is there because they have something to contribute. In other words, they’re paid to be there because the company has enough confidence in their skillset, judgement, and integrity that they want them to be a part of the team. If your company trusts them - and you trust your employer - then maybe you should give them the same kind of respect that you want them to give you. Of course, the other side of this is that if you don’t trust your employer – why are you working for them at all? If you don’t think that your company brings great people on the team, maybe you need to go play for someone else where you can give (and get) the respect that makes the entire organization better.
On to you:
Have you ever felt disrespected by a colleague? How did you handle it and what was the outcome?
Think about the most annoying end user you have to support. Now, what did they do that make the company hire them? Focus on that value and think through how you should work with them next time.
What is one thing you can do to demonstrate respect to a colleague that you routinely have conflict with? Can you do that thing today?
Do you have respect for your boss? Is it because of the position they hold, or is it intrinsic because of the value they bring to the table?